In this age of social media and soundbites, having a real, in-depth conversation can feel like a lost art. But trust me, the rewards are worth it. A good conversation can be like a warm blanket on a cold day, a refreshing drink on a hot one, or a hilarious meme that just gets you.

So, what’s the secret to being a conversation catalyst?

It’s not about being the loudest person in the room, or having the most impressive vocabulary. It’s just about creating a space where people feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and perspectives without fear of judgement. Let me introduce you to the *drumroll please* “CONNECT” framework!

• Connect with curiosity: Ask open-ended questions that show genuine interest in the other person. Ask questions that go beyond the surface level. Instead of asking “How’s work?”, try “What’s something new you’ve learned this week?”.
• Observe & Listen to your own thoughts, feelings, and reactions during the conversation. It’s tempting to jump in with a response, but give the other person a chance to finish their thoughts. Show that you’re really listening by paraphrasing what they said or asking follow-up questions.
• Notice your biases: Be aware of your own biases and how they might affect your conversations. Everyone has their own beliefs and opinions. Even if you disagree with someone, try to understand their perspective.
• Neutralise any negative emotions or judgments that might be clouding your perception. 
• Empathise: Try to see things from the other person’s perspective. Sharing your own experiences can make others feel more comfortable opening up.
• Create a safe space: Make sure everyone feels comfortable sharing their thoughts. Try looking for things you can agree on, even if you disagree on other issues.
• Take turns: Give the other person plenty of time to speak, and avoid dominating the conversation. 

Why should you care about being a conversation catalyst?

Because it’s a superpower! When you can have meaningful conversations with people, you build stronger relationships, increase your empathy, and become a better problem-solver. Plus, it’s just plain fun.

It’s understandable that having a deep conversation can be scary. It’s like stepping out into the ocean without knowing how to swim. You might feel exposed, vulnerable, or even a little lost. But trust us, the rewards far outweigh the risks. When you have a meaningful conversation, you connect with another person on a deeper level. You learn new things, broaden your perspective, and feel less alienated in this world. You also discover that we have more in common than we think. If the connect framework isn’t enough, here are a few additional tips to consider:

• Be patient: Good conversations take time. Don’t rush things.
• Be mindful of your body language: Your nonverbal cues can send a powerful message. Make sure your body language is open and inviting.
• Follow up: If you have a good conversation with someone, follow up with them later. This shows that you value their friendship.
• Deliberate practice: Being a good conversation catalyst takes practice. Don’t get discouraged if you don’t get it right the first time. Just keep trying.

So, the next time you’re in a social situation, try to be a conversation catalyst. Start by asking an open-ended question, listening attentively, and showing genuine interest in what the other person has to say. You just might be surprised at how much you learn and how much fun you have.

For clarity, get in touch with us about our listening skills workshops, leadership training and better conversation skills workshops in Singapore.